I’ve been feeling down lately, knowing I should work on a writing project (any writing project), but struggling to find the energy. I haven’t even been able to read much in the past week. All I’ve really been doing since Dan left for Boston is watching The Simpsons, which is fun, but if I go too long then I start to feel like dirt for not “accomplishing” anything.
I’m still not feeling up to my best, but I did manage to achieve one thing this week: I sent out a couple copies of my chapbook for review and distribution consideration. I’m hopeful, though not expectant, if that makes any sense. I was in desperate need of a way to feel productive this week, and this turned out to be the easiest way to do it, and it really is productive. I often don’t do enough, or much at all, to actually get my work out there aside from making it available on Etsy and my distro website, and maybe posting about it once or twice online. It’s no wonder I’ve only sold five copies of my chapbook since October, right? But for some reason it never occurred to me to do this, to actually send it out and say, “Hey, please read this.” I was always stuck on posting on tumblr and Facebook and twitter and Instagram and waiting, but I need to assume that the majority of accounts following me in all those places are fake or inactive or spam–because, to be honest, they probably are–and that’s why it makes more sense to ask someone else if they would read and share my work. (Basically, I need to remember a lot of what I learned from Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking, which I feel like I just read but am already dying to reread; it was a very good bubble bath book.)
I’ve only sent out two copies so far, placed in the mail just yesterday morning, but it’s a start, and I’m trying to give myself credit, something I don’t think I do enough. Oftentimes I’m much more likely to do something I deem productive, be proud for half an hour, then start telling myself, “Okay, time to do more.” It’s not the best habit to be in because I’m belittling so much of what I do. But to be honest, it’s hard not to when it feels like everyone around me is doing so much and doing it well. It’s a conscious effort to keep reminding myself that I did well with this step, but when I can remember it, I’m excited to see what (if anything) comes of it.
I’m still looking for more places to send my chapbook, and I also have a few distros in mind to which to submit my perzine, so I’m thinking those will be projects for next week. *thumbs up emoji*